Tips for Anglo-Saxon
Men Meeting French Women
At the office:
and socially
Shake hands and remember that French women employees are women, and like
to be treated as such, politely. Graceful compliments on their appearance
are in order, and all the other gallantries you may have forgotten about
in or outside UK or US offices, such as getting up when they come in the
room, offering to carry their cases, opening the car door, pulling out
their chair at the table. As Yapp and Syrett point out in the Xenophobe's
Guide to the French, French women "present themselves as elegant creatures
who need men in the way that a perfect jewel needs the proper setting."
Socially
If you're under 35, kiss her on both cheeks when you meet for the first
time, Don't talk politics, or business. For heaven's sake, don't ask her
about her family. Remember, you're in the registre séduction and
must stay there. Look at her. Tell her that her haircut is the latest
thing, and ravishing. If you decide you'd like to get to know her better,
take her out for dinner, preferably to one of the restaurants in the next
chapters. Keep the conversation frothy, anecdotal.
Don't hesitate to pay the bill. Don't forget to leave another 10% or 20%
in addition to the service compris. Then suggest taking her to
a discoteke.
Don't kiss her when you say goodnight at her door. It is elegant and tender
to kiss her hand. Don't rush her. Court her for at least two weeks. If
she invites you up, realize that she's willing. But be graceful. Don't
forget the preliminaries.
Americans and Britons don't have good reputations in this domain. Marie-Jeanne
N., a wonderfully coquette bachelor girl, told me about an American
admirer's approach to love.
"Jimmy had been courting me for some time, and I'd been giving him all
the signals. I wasn't sure he was picking up on them. Then one evening
at dinner in a romantic restaurant, when I had decided that it was tonight
or never, he looked at me significantly and said, 'I've reserved a hotel
room for us for tonight.' Really! I was furious. After coffee, I told
him I had an appointment, called a taxi, and that was that. Too bad, you
know. I really liked him. I was thinking of marrying him!"
Once you're between the sheets, be tender. There is one question which
will make her leap out of bed in horror: "How do you like it?"
Tips for American
and British Women Going Out With French Men
In a sense, all
Western women are heirs to the sensuous props to plaire that French
women invented in the necessity of their legal deprivation. All of us
can make use of French creams and perfumes, scarves and costume jewelry,
and, why not, French advice. French magazines write tirelessly for their
feminine public on how to meet the man of their life. They tell you to
first of all, think positively about yourself. Eat healthily, exercise
regularly. Look your best every time you go out to get a baguette. Circulate
on the weekends; you'll never meet anyone staying at home. If you see
the man of your dreams at an exhibition or a supermarket, take a cue from
your grandmother: drop a handkerchief. If that doesn't get him to look
at you, drop an ear ring or a bracelet. Let your eyes linger slightly,
but not too long, on his, when he gives it back to you. Take it from there.
French men look at women and what they have on. Dress richly, but not
gaudily. Men as much as women have made Paris the fashion capital of the
West for 600 years. Look at pictures of the clothes of kings like Francois
I, Louis XIV and Louis XV, as well as of their mistresses. French women
wouldn't care about paraître but for French men. If possible, go
shopping with a French friend who dresses wonderfully or get the fashion
advisor at Printemps to help you. Show your shapes, but not vulgarly.
If you choose jeans, wear a Dior belt, designer shoes and a freshly pressed
shirt. Tuck in the shirt; whether you weigh 120 or 200 pounds, you must
show your waist. Don't ever wear sweats except in gym or jogging. Easy
on the make-up, subtle around the eyes, little lipstick, if any.
Wear big earrings and lots of bracelets and rings, several on one finger,
if you feel like it.
Be charming. Don't come on too strong, don't put out all your signals
at once, or they'll judge you a predator. No significant looks.
On the other hand, don't be coy. Keep your voice quiet. Be admiring of
France but not gushing.
If you don't want doors opened for you, if you don't want to play the
game of being séduisante, I guess this isn't the country for you.
If you do, and do it charmingly, the outcome of the evening is up to you.
If you go to his apartment, or invite him to yours, alone, then you have
clearly indicated how it will end. French men, with those 1,000 years'
experience of coquettes, are tuned into the subtle codes of courting.
Adapted from Chapter 13 of Savoir-Flair by Polly Platt.
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